Attn: AltCountryTabians- Raymond Florida has gone missing.
Can't find the man anywhere. Last seen fronting bands for 35 years and selling hearing aids out of his seedy side room. It's possible the man is still held captive in Vietnam or possibly Laos. Or Making movie deals with a dude named Kasey. In any case, we want our Ray returned safely (and timely, he only has precious few moments left).
Raymond Florida, please come back to us. Just give us proof of life with one of your stories!
Edit: Yes I know this is weak. It is the best I could do at this hour in distress of losing my (our) Raymond Florida.
You think you can do better? Find RayFlo faster?
Be my fuckin guest, bitch. Be my fuckin guest.