The A-holes we work with!

[Bowood]

What do these people do at home?

I know ! Can't understand this attitude among some men. Makes me ashamed and want to punish them with violence.


Running the tap ...yes all well and good but you may as well announce to everybody that you are dropping a deuce. Does this matter ? I'd rather fire a torpedo from the ol' jeffries tube that enters the water silently with no splashback than carpet bomb the bowl like a hungover fool who gorged on chilli dogs and fries the night before and that means eating right my friends...

[Noodle]

I don't know why you don't just get a key to the executive washroom. You don't have to worry about the attendant hearing anything - it's his job.

[track11]

But the really offensive part is the woman who goes in there and sprays some horrific combination of febreze and designer imposters that ends up smelling like Wasp killer.

Bingo, buddy!

My desk points straight at the girls restroom in our office. Yes, could be the guys, but still... Pretty sure one of the girls pees standing up. At least that's what I always imagine. And then about three o'clock our late evening lady comes in and hits the can three times, easily, before five o'clock. The last visit of the day being the pent up coffee and enchiladas visit. I'd be ok with closing the door and hitting the fan but as Beldo metioned, the cover ups are far worse than human scent. Poop is long gone but all of that fucking Lysol Country Scent lingers for hours. It gets so deep into your nose...

What's with girls and things having to SMELL NICE?! The girl who stands up to pee and I have had a battle for years now. She introduces some sort of air freshener, a paddle, a plug-in, a paddle that plugs in, spray, candles (the worst!), etc. When she's not in her office, I take the device and trash it. She finally got the point and now, well, I hate to think of what she's doing to get me back for having to work in an office full of smelly ass dudes.

Anywhoo. Great thread!

[ShyGirl]

I have seen the following things in the men's restroom:
- Dudes talking on their cell phone while going #1 and #2

That's another thing my boss does! Our office only has 3 people (including me), and is in an old converted house, so there's a small ladies room and a small mens room, each of which is like a half-bath in a house. My boss will go in the mens room with his headset on and talk and talk and talk and talk to clients! and other attorneys! and whoever he happens to be on the phone with at the time! while he's doing...whatever he does in there. And he thinks people can't tell that he's in a bathroom. But come on. You can always tell.

[Tuxedo T-shirt]

I have seen the following things in the men's restroom:
- Dudes talking on their cell phone while going #1 and #2

That's another thing my boss does! Our office only has 3 people (including me), and is in an old converted house, so there's a small ladies room and a small mens room, each of which is like a half-bath in a house. My boss will go in the mens room with his headset on and talk and talk and talk and talk to clients! and other attorneys! and whoever he happens to be on the phone with at the time! while he's doing...whatever he does in there. And he thinks people can't tell that he's in a bathroom. But come on. You can always tell.

I mean, what does he say when there are, um, noises? I'd think you can use the "I'm trying to start a motorcycle" excuse only so many times.

[Sandusky]

What about nosey coworker who always get in your bidness? Like I can't even get a drink out of the fridge without this one dude making comments? "Hey, is that orange juice? Oh, it's a V8. Trying to be healthy, huh?". I hate having to make small talk every time I get a drink. Small talk will be the death of me.

[Not_RMR]

mr. health guy, gettin' the health drink. healtharino!

[track11]

Small talk will be the death of me.

"The Shoelace" - Bukowski

http://www.contranatura.org/audios/lite ... oelace.htm

[Verbow]

What about nosey coworker who always get in your bidness? Like I can't even get a drink out of the fridge without this one dude making comments? "Hey, is that orange juice? Oh, it's a V8. Trying to be healthy, huh?". I hate having to make small talk every time I get a drink. Small talk will be the death of me.

Everyone I work with is like this. Its like everytime I heat up leftovers for lunch - "oh whats that, it smells good. Do you have a receipe for that". Or if I bring something back for lunch from somewhere "oh where did you go, oh what's that, oh I've never had that from there is it good?". PLEASE JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME EAT MY LUNCH! Thank God I have an office where I can close the door to escape.

People I work with also have an annyoing habit of announcing everything they are doing, all the time. Anytime they go to get a copy, anytime they make a mistake, anytime they do anything. Just shut up and do it! I don't need to know what you are doing every minute of every day.

[Hap]

What about nosey coworker who always get in your bidness? Like I can't even get a drink out of the fridge without this one dude making comments? "Hey, is that orange juice? Oh, it's a V8. Trying to be healthy, huh?". I hate having to make small talk every time I get a drink. Small talk will be the death of me.

Everyone I work with is like this. Its like everytime I heat up leftovers for lunch - "oh whats that, it smells good. Do you have a receipe for that". Or if I bring something back for lunch from somewhere "oh where did you go, oh what's that, oh I've never had that from there is it good?". PLEASE JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME EAT MY LUNCH! Thank God I have an office where I can close the door to escape.

People I work with also have an annyoing habit of announcing everything they are doing, all the time. Anytime they go to get a copy, anytime they make a mistake, anytime they do anything. Just shut up and do it! I don't need to know what you are doing every minute of every day.

You guys only children, by chance?

[Blaze]

Nah, just kidding. The small talk can get to me sometimes. The thing I hate is when people say stuff borderline witty and I'm usually too busy to come up with something playful and non-offensive back.

[Sandusky]

Ha ha, I know I'm a total dick. I just don't have the gift of gab. No good in the small talk dept. I'd rather have a root canal than make small talk. There's also this new secretary down at our main floor, and whenever I go over to the library I have to cross her desk. Now she wants to know everything I bring back "let me see whatcha got!" . It's like I'm trapped now.

[Hap]

Sandu, I asked only b/c I'm an only child. When I have lunch at work and one of my coworkers sneaks up and is all, "Whachoo got there? What's in it? Did you make it?", the on the outside I'm courteous. On the inside I've got crazyhead and am all, "MY FOOD IS HERE TO BE EATEN BY ME, NOT EXAMINED LIKE SOME FUCKING LABORATORY PROJECT BY YOU."

[Verbow]

Sandu, I asked only b/c I'm an only child. When I have lunch at work and one of my coworkers sneaks up and is all, "Whachoo got there? What's in it? Did you make it?", the on the outside I'm courteous. On the inside I've got crazyhead and am all, "MY FOOD IS HERE TO BE EATEN BY ME, NOT EXAMINED LIKE SOME FUCKING LABORATORY PROJECT BY YOU."

I have one brother. At first I thought the question was if we were children

I'm like the above. I'm polite about it, but I just get tired of the same questions from the same people. I don't mind your general small talk situations - what gets to me is when its the same thing over and over again. Like Groundhog Day. Makes me want to punch a person, or a wall, or something equally manly.

Man, maybe I just need a change of scenery. Anyone hiring?

[Blaze]

Ha ha, I know I'm a total dick. I just don't have the gift of gab. No good in the small talk dept. I'd rather have a root canal than make small talk. There's also this new secretary down at our main floor, and whenever I go over to the library I have to cross her desk. Now she wants to know everything I bring back "let me see whatcha got!" . It's like I'm trapped now.

I'm gonna guess that it's usually not a title she would be interested in. I hated bringing books to work and getting the inevitable "whatchoo reading" questions, as I usually didn't read the mainstream fare that would be more recognizable to the folks at the workplace. The conversation would have nothing to do but end awkwardly as they would have nothing to add after discovering the title of the book. Plus, if I'm on my break, I want to squeeze in as many pages as I can as opposed to having a conversation about it.